Everything is different now. Our soldiers, our hostages, our displaced citizens, our children's need to always know where the nearest shelter is and have enough time to get to it, as the twelve innocent souls in Majdal Shams did not – these have changed our reality, perhaps forever.
I look to the news commentators, to the religious authorities, to the political and military leaders, for some hope and encouragement. When will these dark days end? What signs are there that some kind of normalcy is on the horizon? When will our soldiers and hostages come home, our citizens return to their abandoned homes, businesses and fields? What will the world look like when the war is declared over?
The news from political, military and religious sources is mixed but generally discouraging. One military leader said that we will never completely defeat Hamas because Hamas is an idea. This is certainly true. Nazism is an idea, and it has festered in dark places and lived on for decades. Evil is a fact of human existence.
What control does any of us have over any of it? Is there anything at all that I can do? The answer is no – and yes.
No: other than voting, and perhaps participating in a demonstration to make one's feelings publically known, there is little we can do. (Anti-government protestors, please take note: blocking roads and holding up traffic, preventing tired commuters from getting to their destinations, has never changed one person's mind about anything. Climate change protestors, please take note: throwing tomato soup at the Mona Lisa, or gluing yourself to an airport runway, has never made one person decide to reduce their use of fossil fuels. Probably the opposite.)
Yes: When the need is great, some discover their capacity for selfless heroism, as ordinary people did on October seventh as they drove back and forth in their cars ferrying survivors away from the Nova massacre. Our soldiers find the courage and heroism to fight, to kill when necessary, to save their fellow soldiers and, in several instances, some of our hostages. Ordinary people, with and without weapons, leap to fight a terrorist threatening others. Most of us would leap to save a child from a speeding train, a murderer, a burning building.
But most of us will never be called upon to do these things. We nevertheless, each of us, can change the world. Countless people are helping to pick abandoned crops, giving charity and doing small good deeds we might not have done, or not to such an extent, in our October sixth world. Our secret weapon, the one inherent in every human soul and available to us at every minute of the day, is kindness. A bit of patience on the road, letting another driver in; a small good deed for a neighbor or a stranger; and the secret acts, known only in our own hearts: resisting a bit of gossip, resisting a response of petty anger, not indulging in the selfish pleasure of thinking nasty thoughts about someone else.
The word "kind" traces its roots back to Old English "kynd," meaning nature, or family. It is etymologically related to the word "kin." The implication is clear. Kind feelings and kind deeds are what we feel and do for our family; it is our very nature to be kind to our kin. As Old English (about 450 CE to 1066 CE) gave way to Middle English (about 1100 CE to 1500 CE), the word "kindness" broadened to mean compassion and noble deeds beyond our families. It isn't much of a leap to say that when we practice kindness we become like kin. There are interesting parallels in other languages. In German, "kind" means child (thus, kindergarten, a garden of children). As one etymology site puts it, "This connection underscores a common theme: the inherent innocence and goodness associated with children, suggesting that kindness is a fundamental human quality."
One of the many things Victor Frankel, in Man's Search for Meaning, wrote in this regard was, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." And this is always in our power. It is a minute to minute project, and that in itself is rather exhilarating. Right now, I can do something, some small act or word of kindness that changes me and that – don't ever doubt it – changes the world. As Winston Churchill said in the darkest hours of World War Two, "We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." Let us draw courage and kindness from the heart of evil that was unleashed upon us; let us be as kin.
We are not victims. In this troubled time, those of us who are not soldiers, who are not called upon to meet evil face to face and smash it down, are nevertheless empowered. We are empowered be to kind to those around us. This is a choice that we can make. Now. And it is always now!
In my much younger, hippy-poet-songwriter days, I wrote a song of which only the first two verses survive. Here they are:
Now is an island in the river of time
Time rushes onward, leaving all life's dreams behind
Oh, how the seasons go spinning through our lives, but
Now is an island in the river of time.
Now is a country that knows no boundaries
Now reaches inward, far beyond the eye can see
Time has no answers to the questions why and how, but
You will find meaning in the moment that is now.
Let us embrace the now, the eternal moment in which we can act with kindness. We are not victims! As the great philosopher Yogi Berra said, "We're lost, but we're making good time."
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